Attitude Of Altitude

Adults' Responsibility for Positive Impact on the World

April 26, 2023 Rima Aboulhosen Season 3 Episode 24
Attitude Of Altitude
Adults' Responsibility for Positive Impact on the World
Show Notes Transcript


The book "Teen Anxiety No More" by Jovana is a bestseller on Amazon. Jovana, who became an actor in Los Angeles, was bullied when she was younger and struggled to speak up because of her strict Dominican background. She encourages young people to share their experiences with trusted adults and find happiness to treat others with kindness and acceptance. Jovana speaks about embracing cultural differences and reframing them as a positive aspect of oneself. Jovana emphasizes the importance of embracing one's unique self and following one's passions. She writes about the importance of having difficult conversations on issues such as school shootings and teenage hormones. She encourages young people to trust their instincts and say no to things that don't feel right. Jovana believes that everyone has the power to make an impact in their own way and encourages people to find their own way to make a positive difference.

TOPICS 

  • Teen Anxiety No More Book
  • The importance to embrace your unique self and allow others to do the same.
  • Jovana had to write a chapter about school shootings, which was difficult for her to do, but she felt it was necessary to address the issue
  • She believes that even if the journey is difficult and scary, it will make you stronger in the end.
  • Setting boundaries and expectations is also important, but it should be done in a way that is respectful and collaborative

FOLLOW ME

👉 https://www.facebook.com/planetofone
👉https://www.instagram.com/planet_of_one/

LISTEN AND WATCH MY PODCAST
👉 https://attitudeofaltitude.buzzsprout
👉https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5Y7rdjXm7ZNaXWPz5oVlww


(00:02) if you're not making a positive impact in the world and you are an adult then you are failing and I do mean it because we all are responsible for the way this world is being but today we are lucky we actually have with us Jovana who is actually doing great things in this world Giovanna welcome my dear oh my gosh what a beautiful introduction thank you I'm not in the hot seat okay I'm not failing you are not I really really appreciate you showing up today and being here we've had a few wonderful

(00:40) conversations I'd love for the audience to really understand why you wrote your book and tell them what the book is about oh if that's crucial to why you're doing the things you're doing thank you Rima first of all I'm so excited to be here to chat with you um and um I'm just grateful so thank you thank you thank you thank you so anybody out there watching I'm so excited to share my book it just came out this past year it's number one bestseller on Amazon and it's called teen anxiety no more and

(01:19) um this is like becomes such an important part of my life such an important part of my reason to be here right it's become my mission I didn't think this was gonna be it I'm an actor in Los Angeles so I've been in the entertainment world for gosh 15-ish years and um I always in like college and high school I I did like big sister volunteering and I just remember always wanting to draw from that and I remember being like um I want to become an actor I want to become an actor because an actor can have a platform so yeah I want to be

(02:04) famous so that I can help the world remember 15 or so years ago there was no social media right per se it wasn't like you could go online and and become an influencer or or you know open a page to share great things with the world and acting at the time was what I first saw being my Avenue to help the world um it was a very long way around to get to that place because acting in and of itself is just a wacky process and so we'll come back to that surely I got a lot to say about that um but I just remember

(02:50) um you know about six years ago seven years ago um I was on a date with my Ben boyfriend now husband and it was early on and I remember saying Oscar my husband's name not the statue um Oscar I I really want to open a company share more light with the teens in our world and we had this conversation he's like how are you gonna do it what are you gonna do and I was trying but I didn't you know put forth the true energy that it requires at that time long and behold fast forward um via my acting I booked a role with Darman

(03:34) Studios and for any of you who don't know it's um a YouTube series of motivational videos feel good lessons for the world and um at the time I didn't know but they kept asking me to come back and come back usually acting roles is like one time and if you're lucky you cross paths again but now I've been in over um I want to say close to 60 videos so it became this recurring thing which I'm like so blessed because our audience has gotten really young and because of that I opened I started my YouTube channel

(04:12) and it started with um my you know my the viewers of of Dharmann Studios finding me and my channel and being like you know how do you deal with bullying how did you deal with bullying and cyber bullying and peer pressure and they were asking me all these amazing questions that I like so many of us you know dealt with and had to overcome and so they were asking me so frequently I'm like here you go I'm writing a book read it so that's the short answer because I'm trying to like stay here because you could see how I can go and like so

(04:52) yeah so that's how it started I'm just so excited that it's become this so all those seeds I was planting that I wanted to be a big sister that I wanted to help um change the world that I wanted to act it all kind of oh my gosh I'm getting Goosebumps because you just never know right what you're your your route is going to be and it's it's it's leading me here and it's amazing Giovanna take me back to when you were young and you were bullied and what could have occurred in your mindset

(05:26) so for the young listeners that will see this that they understand that there are others and there is definitely more than hope for things to become so much better so take me back to that those years oh gosh Rima thank you for that um Baseline because it was tough it was really tough so many of us um have dealt with you know the making fun of you you know I was called everything at the time you could imagine from fat ugly to um stupid oh it's called stupid a lot um I was called um fluoride brace face I mean all those

(06:12) names that so many of us can like relate to in our awkward teen years where we're like ah you know still going through our years of development I I I felt all that and um what I really struggled with as well um my bully my main bully because there were several the main bully um also he he was physical towards me so it was a physical bullying so despite him being a boy and me being a girl he would hit me and he would hit me hard and I remember I remember like the little feisty in me like the feistiness being like you're

(06:56) not gonna get me so I would laugh in his face I don't recommend that um I was literally laughing his face like you're not gonna get me and um I I held the strong face I'm not gonna cry I'm not gonna let it you know get to me because he was hitting me and it was like you could see in his face how things changed when he wanted to hit me like you could see the transformation like I recall it right now like and he would like fist up and like I had bruises all over my body and I never told anybody even though like you know

(07:33) other kids saw it right but I never shared with an adult and and you know those are the things I share in my book where I'm like wait wait wait wait wait had I known this this is what I would have done differently I don't want anyone to ever have to endure anything um like so many of us did and now you know people the kids are so those are the strategies and the tips and tools tools I I provide in my book because it is so important to um go back and grab the ones that you know need the help right and so that's

(08:20) the reason for everything I'm doing right now I've gotten through some really difficult times in my life um that was one of them there have been others and it's like I'm in a place now that I can come back for you and help you and that's what drives me now every day do you remember back then what made you not share or tell an adult what went through your mind and again so that if another young person is watching they understand these thoughts and hopefully they will understand that there are

(08:57) solutions as well as a lot of the wonderful tools you share within the book but for the some someone listening what were their thoughts what a great question to go a little deeper because yes you know for anybody who's listening watching we don't want you to just walk away and be like okay well now what right I will say that the reason I didn't share is because um I I come from a very strict Dominican background and at the time um the parenting skills were different and I just remember hearing a lot not

(09:40) just in my family but in my culture that um if you cry or if you um let someone do something to you I will pitch you so that you really cry so that it's a really interesting thing that used to happen in our era I want to say at least my culture where it was like they would give us a reason to cry so that we would defend ourselves so I always thought like well I gotta defend myself because I don't wanna my mom or my dad or my grandma or an adult to spank me because I didn't defend myself so I'm like I'm gonna defend myself so

(10:16) it was a very like independent like I got this I'm gonna take care of it um in hindsight that's not what I would have done I would have certainly told my mom because my mom would have gone to the school and made sure that somebody knew what was going on and um and took the action steps because my mom now I'm like oh gosh and I mom if you ever see this I don't know how much she knows about this because you know over the years I've told her lots of things but I don't know how deep she knows it was and

(10:51) I I just came out with um a little short video on my social and it was like bullying made me who I am today because it made me realize that I don't need anybody else's approval um and I don't need anyone and else's encouragement to do the things I want to do that I'm gonna do them because I want to do them and I'm gonna succeed at them because I am putting forth the time energy effort to do so and that I will succeed despite you calling me fat ugly Four Eyes whatever it was I will succeed

(11:35) and that is a message I want to lead with that I learned absolutely to share with a trusted adult and I do give strategies I even give like a little role play situation in my book so that somebody is equipped to go to a teacher with the words and not just um so once I was being a jerk it's like okay how can you elaborate on that so an adult can get on your side and be like we're going to take care of this for you and everybody else and that is the position I wish I had then that I now offer in my book for

(12:16) anybody who is going through that and um so it's it's coming from a place of power right and um you know another thing I talk about is oftentimes you hear um that you don't want to be a tattletale right kids who are tattletales get beat up even more I gotta believe that was in my psyche at the time I didn't want to be seen as a tattletale on the playground well guess what I told you how to go about that so that you are a tattletale because guess what you're doing it for the world right you're

(12:52) telling it so that it gets better not so that you get in trouble and I also you know formulate a way so that you can have that conversation with a trusted adult and not feel like a tattletale I hope that it does I'm so glad you're sharing this honestly I infused uh Rob Nash who is a musician out of Canada and his impact started when he began sharing his story on stage to high schoolers and the different places so I can definitely see where you're making that impact and if I gave you the opportunity which you

(13:36) already are and a lot of ways speaking to large audiences but if I put you in front of a bunch of teenagers adolescents what would you tell them today so that it can make a difference for them in the way they treat each other what a powerful question thank you because that's getting at the root of it right it's how you treat others and that's the change we want to see in this world that's the acceptance we want for everybody and I think that when we can make the now bullies future kind humans in the works

(14:32) when we can get those either kids or adults um in alignment with what it is that can make them feel better about themselves so that they don't have to make somebody else feel bad then I think we've really turned the corner in our in our existence in this world and I think what I would tell them is that there's a different way to channel your pain there's a different way to to go about finding what will make you happy because when you're happy you will never ever ever ever ever want anyone else

(15:20) to feel unhappiness and if we can have more happiness in the world and that's a world I want to live in me too that's the world we're living in because you exist because we are putting out those messages honestly I'd like to touch on something that you spoke about you're from the Dominican I'm from Lebanon originally born there raised in the states there is something to the various cultures that makes you number one a little more open a little more understanding and at the same time it makes you your unique

(16:04) self what do you say to kids that are from a variety of cultures that are living in the states or anywhere in the world that they feel like they don't fit in Reba goodness gracious these questions they're amazing thank you for touching on that because it's such a big component I feel that the world is bigger in the sense that we realize that there are different cultures and countries and um understandings and religions and you know um um um there's a word I'm thinking of um experiences let's go with that one

(16:58) when we were growing up perhaps I don't know about you but no one knew where my country was they're like where is Dominican Republic I'm like it's in the Caribbean Caribbean yes um it's between Puerto Rico and Cuba oh um okay I grew up in a very small town just outside New York city so it wasn't like you know in the middle of you know nowhere it was near a big city one of the biggest and they themselves were unaware where Dominican Republic was so for that reason because I grew up in a in a school system that was

(17:40) predominantly white um I looked different I didn't want to look different because that just opens you up to a whole lot more all the stuff that they can say about you right no I just wanted to blend and I wanted to just be as American as I could be right I was born in New York I did move back to Dominican Republic um in my younger years for several years however um born and mostly raised in the Northeast area why I say this is because well now you can't go there and not see a Dominican so everyone knows where

(18:20) but I just remember being like um I can't be called Giovanna giovanna's too different people aren't gonna know no no no don't call me Giovanna so I went by my middle name which is in fact Jill very American that I could blend I thought my name to do it it helped I'm sure um and why I say all this is because it I felt the need to just not stand out right I felt the need to just kind of like hope that people would just not realize that I looked a little different from the blonde hair blue-eyed

(19:02) girls you know I went to school with and now I look at myself and I'm like gone a little different it's a lot more Latinas now and you know we expect to see different you know um um faces and eye shapes and skin tones right so I think that's how the world has changed a lot because our doors have opened to the world a lot more um so there is that difference and distinction now however as young links that's what I call everyone on my channel as younglings we don't want to be seen for our differences because it's so sometimes

(19:47) difficult right to like not understand why your Mom is cooking this certain food and putting it in your lunchbox and you're like I don't want that I just want to eat the pizza that they serve in the cafeteria right it's like now I look at my food and I'm like wow what a richness of flavors that I want and seek and cannot find in Los Angeles for all those times that I like was upset that this is what I was getting in My Lunchbox so I look at it now and I reframe it into anybody now who's dealing with potentially that culture

(20:22) difference realize that you are here because of that and when you Embrace that the world can welcome it more and when it welcomes it more we can have more acceptance and understanding and appreciation for the differences we all have and now I don't know about so many of you watching you seek different restaurants you seek different Cuisines you seek different experiences and vacations because you want to explore differences in the world how cool is it that you're what they're going to go seek what they go on vacation when they go to

(21:11) the restaurants you know whether you're Chinese Japanese Lebanese Dominican how many people are going to Punta Cana now that would never have gone 20 years ago but now it's like a resort town that people like Flock to Yeah country and we're gonna welcome you and we're gonna make you feel good and you're gonna have a lot of fun cool is that part of that country that's what I would say embrace you know what I love about what you said and what brought to my brain is that we attempt to blend so much when we were young

(21:47) that now we completely understand that that is exactly what we're not looking to do we're looking to be our unique selves so if the young listeners that are listening and you can start off by being you and allowing others to do the same that's how you win that's how you win in this game of life it's so true if you can overcome that at this age how much further ahead and how long are you gonna be than all of us that had to wait until 20 30s 40s 50s 60s whatever our age is to get to that place

(22:24) embrace it now be like this is me rock on let's do this and and and and move on to the next thing because there's always something ahead right and that's the cool thing about life there's always something to look forward to so move on to the next lesson how cool is that it's like I often describe it as like a video game right it's like you just want to get to the next level well that's a good way that's normal that's a great way you know take us again from that experience of being

(22:57) bullied and then growing up and the things that you've learned that helped you put into this book actually ow that's a huge question I love it I love it because it's making me realize and appreciate the journey and I think that's why you know I I lead with the road because it's been a journey right we've all had this incredible journey of of our experiences and wow I believe we gotta learn every day right so every day there's been so many lessons and that's what my channel is is focused around you know sharing my

(23:59) lessons right so every um Friday when I meet with my younglings you don't call them Fridays what do you call them for them wait you cut off say it again what do you call them that's right Fridays fry yay because we're happy the week is over it's because we're celebrating an amazing week we had and bringing that into the weekend that's a huge distinction for me it used to be like thank God it's Friday oh my God I'm done with the week oh my God I'm ready for the weekend now it's like oh I

(24:48) had an amazing week let's celebrate this amazing week we just had so that is a big see those are the little things that you learn along the way that aren't so little in the way you um show up in the world right so it's those little things so lessons everything is a lesson every little thing is a lesson it could be a really good lesson or a not so fun lesson but that not so fun lesson is teaching you that when you have something really good happen you appreciate that because you know and remember what it was like when

(25:28) it wasn't so good so those are the things that when you start stacking them they start really creating this Just Amazing Just point of elevation right the the biggest thing that we we often want to do or see in images is um climbing a mountain right because you know that when you get up there you're gonna see the coolest View so it's like yeah you're just doing all these little things to stack up so you have the best view so it's everyday lessons I I wish I had an eternity to share as many as I can

(26:13) with our younglings because if I can and not so much shortcut because everyone's going to go through their process and their journey and I don't want to shortcut anybody's existence but if I can shine a light on the ones to focus on so that you can hop and Skip and jump to the next one then that I feel is my purpose now my reason for being here it's like I I uh I was in a workshop once and this amazing mentor of so many of us was saying like why do you have a guide right why do you go to the safari

(27:08) with a guide because you want to make sure you're in the jungle with someone who knows where the caves are knows where the you can tell I haven't been to Safari yet um I don't know what there is in a safari but I want a guide right I want him to leave me tell me what to touch what to eat what not to eat right it's like if I can be that for my younglings because I've been on this twisty curvy amazing Road then it's like yeah that's how I want to get back what did you learn out of your years in

(27:48) experience being in Miami and being a dancer what what did that give you or did it give you anything [Laughter] it did it gave me so much um I'm laughing because I um it gave me an opportunity to get on stage and to um be okay with being seen because growing up I was always so afraid of being looked at because I looked weird to everybody then now I'm front and center on a stage like you got nowhere else to look but up on the stage at a show so um I was a dancer in Miami I was corporate before that so I did not grow up being a dancer

(28:41) uh I I didn't even take a ballet class I didn't even take a tap Club I didn't take no act no dancing classes at all as a young little toddler or anything I did more martial arts because my mom wanted us to defend ourselves so that's what I thought I was doing in the schoolyard um and then in my 20s I was like done with the corporate scene I pleased my mom I did what she wanted us to do um which was to have a profession and a career and you know work in Corporate America and I did that for several years

(29:17) and I was like uh-uh not for me and um I was in the sexy part of of um Corporate America I was in advertising because I did love commercials I still do love commercials so I was in advertising behind the scenes getting the audition tapes and I was like that's what you want to do I wanna I wanna be in front of the camera not behind it so I moved to Miami thinking I could start my acting career there but instead I got into dancing and um I actually got into dancing because my company sent me to a concert at Madison

(29:52) Square Garden and I started dancing I'm like I want to do this for a living my mom's like what are you talking about and I was like I want a difference she's like oh my goodness you've lost it but I did in fact go to Miami and I danced like I did Samba shows all around the country and the Caribbean I did um um like TV shows as a dancer that's how I first started getting into TV um they would hire me for those like specialty acts um I did like Casino openings and Resort openings in like Cabo San Lucas and Turks and Caicos so I

(30:34) did it like and I'd never danced in my life all to say I learned that you can do anything despite what other people tell you you need to know before you embark on doing it like I felt like dancing and I did and it was amazing and I felt a lot more success dancing than I've had acting believe it or not well up until you know what I'm saying like it was a lot easier for me to jump into dancing in Miami than acting in Los Angeles is where I'll keep it I'm gonna ask a question about something that you

(31:11) said in passing that you did your career in corporate because it pleased your mom and I think again going back to the cultural things yeah that's a lot in a in cultures where we are taught to please our elders to do things the way that we're told yeah what was it like for you to step out run that even though it might have been displeasing to your mom what was it like you asked yes what was it like what did it feel like because again there's lots of wonderful young individuals that are looking to create

(31:54) their path but they feel that oh I can't displease this person or that person yeah great question what did it feel like um scary intimidating um anxiety provoking um yeah it felt like oh my gosh this is the one person I never want to go up against um I was raised by very strong women um and I was like oh you know I'm Really Gonna ruffle some feathers here and um I had already kind of done so by going the corporate route because growing up we had two options it was either um a doctor or a lawyer the fact that I didn't do either one of

(32:44) those two was already going against the grain because I come from a family of doctors and lawyers um I'm like no I'm not a doctor or a lawyer but I've played both on TV right so it's like I was already the black sheep to go further and quit my corporate job and follow my heart and and do something that was so unexpected right um was really intimidating and scary and and just exactly what I needed to do I needed to go up against that fear because I knew that that was what my heart wanted me to do I now know this at the time I thought I

(33:33) was being a little you know but not revengeful whatsoever um what's the other word when you're um rebellious rebellious thank you I thought it was just me being they thought it was me being rebellious but no it was my heart you know and it's been guiding me all along so I'm really grateful for it because I listened to it it gives me more right little nudges and now I'm like oh okay that's my heart that I want to listen to whereas it used to be that um I couldn't tell the difference between

(34:08) my heart and my head and I just I'll never forget I had this conversation with my incredible supervisor at the time um I used to work at MasterCard um and um I had the best bosses like the people were amazing it was just such an incredible experience and time to work at MasterCard when I did dating myself a little bit but it was priceless um and I remember asking him like Michael hi Michael um Michael do I follow my head or do I follow my heart because everything logic alone is telling me to stay in this job it's a

(34:51) great job great people great opportunities great future potential or do I jump ship and go dance like he's like I can't answer that for you um which is the best answer right because I I found my answer within and I didn't listen to anybody and now I think people look at me and they're like rock on right Rock on and and I've heard little mumblings that um I gave other people an opportunity to start new different things that they wouldn't have otherwise so what's your relationship like with your

(35:36) mom now oh amazing amazing we went to some hurdles after that and then um again when I moved to LA she's like why are you moving to La you keep moving around the country in the world stop moving where you're running from whoa and you're running from I'm like I'm not I'm running towards right um and then for the first I want to say I don't know maybe eight nine ten years that I lived in LA she's like when are you gonna come back when are you gonna come back when are you coming back and those were

(36:13) challenging years because it was like Mom I'm here I'm doing this I want to do this this is where I'm at so there was that friction of like come back home come on and then um my our were four sisters in my family um we we celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary by giving them a gift um to go to Vegas and then come to La um and she came to LA and I took her to all the spots we went to San Diego like we did the whole like Coast thing asked me how many times she's told me like I'll come back to a home when are

(36:57) you coming back ask me never she's never asked me again so our relationship is a missing there's no friction she understands why this decision is right for me she's seen it she knows I'm safe I'm now married my husband is incredible he's taking care of me-ish even though we take care of each other but she knows I'm not alone here anymore the way she was so fearful um that I was at the time so thank you for asking that Mom everything's good right you know I like touching on that because

(37:35) you said so many wonderful things that even though you're on your path and you're doing the things that you love there's always still things that aren't going to be 100 in anyone's life but sticking to your own heart to your own path is the key and things end up working out and for you what would people be surprised to know about you and your personality me but I think that's what is so surprising about it right um I'm actually an introvert I'm actually shy I'm an introvert um and
(38:38) you know I still have Securities right he's Bing who doesn't have them uh she'll be a person who has zero insecurities and let me just bow down and be like because they're probably you know I don't know a monk somewhere in India like at a temple I'm gonna bow down to you because we all striving for that one day right um but yeah those too and um what's cool is that I don't let them um interfere with what I want and where I'm going now right that was what I had to learn on this long journey now I can

(39:14) do that but that's what's been so worth um the ride it's been that I I can now look back and be like yep I don't like XYZ now I can't even think of something because it's just so not in like my like peripheral vision the way it used to be like right in front of me now I'm like whatever whatever I'm moving on moving on who cares and do I still get a little but yeah that's why I wrote a book about anxiety I still get anxious I still do these things I'm not a teenager right it's like

(39:50) I don't think you have to get rid of your anxiety I just think you have to work with it and when that happens you have this freedom to do everything else in life with more ease and joy and um that's what I think I want to master in this life that's what I want to master The Joy the positivity the bubbliness is also you yeah this is not a fake personality that you put on because oh I'm on a podcast or I'm on a show no um if anything I'm toning it down a little bit because I've been told I want

(40:35) to talk really fast one of the biggest hurdles in my acting journey I talk fast I'm from New York which is what you get like I'm gonna you know sometimes it rubs people the wrong way because a lot of people are like why are you so like honest like and I'm I'm not mean spirited but I do say things that perhaps you know other people are like whoa okay I wasn't expecting that to come out of your mouth and it's not mean-spirited but it is um just honest like like like I do have a filter I'm again I'm not

(41:12) mean but it is um just sometimes what people are thinking but don't say or don't know their thinking I think the New York Dominican is in there that does that my mom for sure um but yeah no the bubbling this is me like I'm seated when I do my lies I'm standing up and I'm like and you know I probably rather people the wrong way and that's okay because not everyone is gonna like everyone right and that's why full circle there's so many differences you're gonna find the people you gravitate towards go

(41:51) towards them if you don't like me don't watch me it's okay I want you to be happy watching what you're watching go watch something that makes you happy if I'm not that there's tea and there's coffee right it's like pick your choice and and and I've had to learn to be okay with that because you know so many of us want everyone to like us and you know especially in our teens and 20s we want everyone to like you know gravitate towards us and include us and ask us to be on the team or the group or the you

(42:24) know outing it's like okay I didn't get invited what am I gonna go do on my own right like um so yeah no I there's both sides of me so yes I am introverted shy quiet and um this is my personality like um happy now um bubbly and um excited for life which I wasn't always so I worked hard to get here thank you for the honesty honestly thank you for that how do you feel about the labels you know introvert extrovert all of these things that people use and we just use them what do you feel about those labels

(43:12) this question because I remember the first time I was told I was an introvert I was so upset I was like what I'm an introvert how can that be in my culture Latins we're loud we're supposed I guess I'm still a little loud but uh we're supposed to be like you know around a lot of people and and family and we're supposed and I remember the first time because I did like a quiz and it was at my corporate job um many moons ago that we had a specialist come in and we took a test and you know so we could like a team

(43:46) building exercise so we could better interact with others um in the company and when my result came in as an introvert I was like no I am not immature that's not acceptable my parents won't be happy that I'm not an introvert these are the things that go through our brains right and um I did not want to be labeled as an introvert I wanted it what was deemed the cooler group to be an extrovert and um we had to go around the table and it was a big table there was like I don't know 100 let's say 100 or 200 of

(44:28) us it was a team building it was a fairly big event and we had to go around and everybody had to say hi I'm Jovana and I am proud to be fill in the blank right and everyone went around everybody I'm proud to be an introvert extroverted that came to me and I'm like I'm Jovana and I'm an introvert I couldn't even say I'm proud so just to because your question really prompted this in me it's like I didn't appreciate the label and now why I appreciate the label is because it gives me an understanding that when I'm

(45:07) out in in big events when I'm out with a lot of people when I'm out at Costco I need to take a step back regroup just take a moment to you know get rid of some of that external additional stimuli and yeah that is being an introvert yeah I do value staying home and reading and being alone on a Friday Saturday night I don't care that y'all are going out I want to be home tonight I cannot you know spread more of my energy I want to conserve and enjoy my energy I'm proud to be an introvert so that's that's my journey for me too

(45:46) so I'm okay with with those kinds of labels um and I think it's just our society trying to understand where we fit in and I think if we don't know that there's a spectrum of colors and we don't know what color crayon to pull out to draw with right so I think it's just an attempt to like formulate language so I try not to get too hung up with labels and just accept that it's um an easy way for the brain to understand where to put you so that's where I prefer to spend my energy versus like I'm being labeled as

(46:29) a little loud Latina you know introverted Dominican wannabe actor I can't deal with that many labels okay that's my label this is everything I have to offer tell me about your acting career and how that has impacted you and especially with what you're doing today what have you learned from your acting oh wow what an amazing question I get to answer right so many people think they want to be actors [Laughter] you know our society displays that as like an a a full choice of profession right you know when you see household

(47:25) names and celebrities on a red carpet or an award show or you know in a magazine whatever our eyes are drawn to it and as a society we really kind of elevate their status so I think and I get a lot of um people who say like I wish I was an actor I always wanted to be an actor um and I'm like there's a lot of stuff that happens behind the scenes that it's not just the glitz and glamor and fun that you see on the red carpets I have so much respect for all those household names and faces who 've achieved what they've achieved right

(48:18) like that was always my long game like what I wanted for myself and I admire their tenacity and their perseverance and their commitment and everything that they had to endure to get to that place it's admirable I though not a household name um learn those things as well because not every actor is gonna be a household name but man it's a rite of passage that if you can be in this city in Los Angeles specifically for now 14 years that says a lot because I used to work in acting studios I've been to dozens of acting Studios as a student

(49:18) um over the years I've seen heard witnessed the struggles the you know the transientness of the profession and the city where it's like you know people come and go people come and go they go back home they go back somewhere else whatever it is for whatever reason La is a beast of a city um and I've lived in and I've I've set up shop in many cities I I lived in London Miami like I lived in New Orleans like I've moved around a lot in LA being from New York so it's not like I come from you know a

(50:01) place where like you know I'm far into big city life or living or still struggle every day I woke up not knowing if it was going to be my last day in this city finances rejection realities of what it takes to be in this industry auditions no auditions work no work right every day I was like is this gonna be my last days it's gonna be my last day you know I um slept in my car the first month I lived here so I learned so many things and I'm still here and I'm still doing it and I'm still learning which is what

(50:51) I love so I'm just grateful I'm still here I'm so grateful I would have never and I was talking about this with my husband yesterday had I left so many times that I really thought I was gonna have to leave and my mom was already like come back come back come back and I was like what am I doing here I have zero anything going for me I have nothing holding me here what what what why where what had I not stayed I wouldn't have gotten my Oscar and my husband to me is just a cherry on top so it's taught me so much so many times

(51:32) that I wanted to give up because I did it's taught me resiliency and and go go go even when you're tired that doesn't mean you effort that means you stay in it go means stay sometimes because when you can't get up and go just holding still is enough you gotta you gotta realize what that is for you when it's happening and all the days I couldn't get out of bed I still stuck it out and I'm still here and I'm so grateful I'm so grateful and happy you reminded me of a story that I heard of an athlete

(52:15) that was gonna quit and her mom said to her you can quit but not on a bad day you have to quit on a good day because she understood that you're not gonna quit when things are going well and that's what you need is to keep going on the rough times so you can get to the good times so we reminded me of that as you said it and winning the Oscar and all of it I love that I love that because it's true right when it's good you don't want to quit and I say this often in my book you got to go through it to get to it

(53:00) right you have to go through whatever is being put in your past to get to where it is that you want to go even when sometimes I want is blurry and you're like what is it that I want I can't really see I you gotta get through it and sometimes you know we no we gotta stop and rest to get more energy and drive and motivation and inspiration to keep going forward so that's what I mean by go sometimes the going is just taking a breath Jovanna why do you continue to choose acting what does that platform mean to

(53:40) you I love it so much I love being able to share a story that somebody else can see themselves in and that's the only reason I've kept going because I know that if I'm in these shoes these character shoes that somebody can hopefully benefit from seeing themselves seeing someone they love seeing a way that they can help themselves or someone they love and that's why I do the projects that I do and I'm doing the things that I do in my acting and that's what I always wanted to do because when you first come to the city

(54:44) it's really easy to um fall into the thought that you have to accept everything that's offered to you um because you don't want to say no because then people will stop asking and because I had my years in corporate in Miami and in LA I didn't buy into that I was like no I'm not going to say yes to everything because I don't want to do everything you are not going to see me in this this this and this kind of role and I set those parameters very straight on and guess what when I first came here those

(55:25) were the exact roles I was being offered you look like you could this this step nope I'm not accepting that role thank you but I'm not accepting that role thank you it's not in alignment with who I want to see myself as or somebody else has seen me as on TV or film that is not the model I want to present and at the time I didn't have this leading my path but I inherently knew that I wanted it to be foreign something that someone can strive to be a better something from and so that's guided me and I'm so happy

(56:20) that I didn't you know go against that for myself and that has been very important so that is why I love to act that's why I'm still acting that's why I hope to always act because it fills this side of me that I don't know where else to get you know I'm not like uh like uh like a like a talented person like like who can draw or you know like I'm not that kind of an artist like who can I don't have those skills and talents I never you know nurtured them and that wasn't my path

(56:58) that's we're so grateful to artists who do have the capacity and ability and desire to put it out into the world put it out into the world if that's you um but acting is that for me and it's that release of like Ugh I can do something for someone else thank you for that incredible share and I hope a lot of the young individuals that are starting in this industry catch that point that you can actually say no and you will still be fine in this industry I have a couple more questions for you but before we get to

(57:41) them where can people get your book um my film my recent film will be up there as well um that is also and pardon me my nose got a little runny um um um that that is also under my name on Amazon and the film is called that in salsa and I'm very proud of that because um it touches on um a real reality that teens are encountering right now with um depression and suicide and peer pressure so it's really interesting how they're both synergistic in a way that I would have never anticipated I auditioned for that role

(58:39) in 2018. the pandemic we shot through whatever and it just came out in 22. I had no foresight about this main team 1920 or 21. or half of 22. um so it's really amazing how they both came out at the same time and so yeah Amazon and then um you can always find me on YouTube as well if you want to follow along the journey um and you get more of this if we can handle it thank you for sharing how they can follow you and how they can get the book what are parents reactions to this book it's been amazing it's been amazing

(59:23) because I have mad respects let me say that again I have mad respect for parents right I am not a parent and people are like well you're not a parent like why'd you write to teens you're not a parent to a teen I'm like no I'm not a parent I am not a trained psychologist um but I am a big sister and sometimes you'll tell your big sister things that don't yet feel comfortable sharing with your parents and I want to be that voice that can help Bridge those two things and share with you as my young limb

(1:00:09) perhaps your parents perspective so that you have an understanding that it's not being done to you as the very incredible amazing Tony Robbins says it's being done for you your parents are doing it for you and because there's a little bit of friction something or another maybe there's this way to look at it or maybe there's that way maybe you can Broach it this way and just giving those um conversations for perhaps so many parents who you know may have kind of you know during these teen years kind of

(1:00:54) fallen out of those you know conversations that seemingly come easier when they're younger right so I've gotten a lot of messages emails from parents who um did this together with their team because I go to places in here that it's really cool to have a parent alongside on the same page pun intended um because when we can have conversations when we cannot be afraid to have those conversations like I did and it opens things up and when you open things up you have an opportunity to learn and grow from it

(1:01:48) and if you can do it together wow watch out parents and younglings watch out and I love that I love that parents have given me their blessing right in that I can speak to their younglings and them not feel because I had a couple mothers say to me they're like well we didn't know about that chapter um that's not something I would want a stranger talking to my kid about and then I read the chapter with my daughter and I was so grateful because what came out of that conversation strengthened not just our bond but her voice

(1:02:33) for not when if it happens well when it happens and that's powerful that's powerful because I'm really grateful for that it's powerful because you're right conversations open up the channels for both sides to begin to communicate better to understand because nobody knows what is going to come up however the more conversations parents can have and hear their kids and for that kid to understand that the parent is for them that's the only reason that they're stepping up is very crucial for them to

(1:03:20) really see that the one last thing that I'd like to ask is what are some of the topics you do touch in that book and I I take that back there will be one more question after that okay you know I can talk I have no problem I know you and I can tell the chat you all day all weekend it's a Friday happy Friday I have no problem I mean you are such incredible questions how could I not want to oh my gosh they're just mind-blowingly amazing so thank you Rima give me this opportunity to just share so many different aspects of me but

(1:04:00) really at the end of the day it's you know just really cool so thank you for making me go to these places I I'm really grateful that you invited me on here today and um yeah I'm excited so to answer your question because sometimes I don't I start going down a different path I try to bring it back um the topics I talk about in this book specifically um I can show you the table of contents really um I already talked about the bullying the fear and anxiety of course um jealousy and comparison peer pressure

(1:04:42) the trolls online I'm telling you you do not need to be a team to deal with trolls um depression how to turn the corner um seeing the light and what that does and how you can use the light to guide you to find what it is you're looking for um I give tools on how to nurture those things you find and do more of um I had to do this I had to do this I didn't want to I really did not want to do this the book was already written and it was already almost I want to say like 80 to 90 edited and I had to do this literally at the

(1:05:34) end hour um because it was another school shooting and I was like I have to write a chapter about what's happening in our schools today so I went there and it was so difficult for me to want to touch on something so difficult like how do we find a solve for something like this right but we have to find a solve because when you and I went to school we we never ever ever had that your thought in our mind the fact that guns are the number one killing agents amongst kids and teens in our country in the United States of

(1:06:28) America not acceptable not acceptable and when that happened on that day I went back to my editor and I was like hold up wait a minute this has to go in there and she's like what what I'm like I know I don't know but my heart is telling me to do it so I have to listen so I went back and I wrote that very difficult chapter very difficult chapter but if we don't have the conversations nothing is going to change and this has to change because our kids cannot go to school and be afraid for their lives there's one

(1:07:15) thing about the bullying making fun of you for being fat or ugly or whatever it's another thing where you have a shooting drill so you could prepare in case there's a shooting at your school fire drill I get it a shooting drill I will never get it and the fact that it's necessary not acceptable so yeah I went back and I wrote a very difficult chapter and I'm not saying I have the answers but we gotta find an answer and if we can have the conversation then maybe an answer will unfold and then from there I went to a very

(1:08:05) light not so light in the book um it's titled ooh I like him her them and you know as a teen when you're going through those hormones and you like someone and it's like I come at it from a very different perspective and this was the chapter that the mom was like I don't know if I want somebody else telling my kid about you know and she said that when she read the chapter she was grateful because I I Broach her from a stance of like okay my youngling guys okay my youngling girls you do not and fill in the blank

(1:08:54) you do not do something you don't want to do you do not do and I just go through a list of things where it's like and be okay saying no so thank you Ruma for asking that other question about what roles I was because it all plays into listen if it doesn't feel right you don't do it you know when it doesn't feel right and I just go through this whole um process of of guiding them how to know when it feels right and when it doesn't and how to make a decision and be okay with the decision even if

(1:09:31) they're being pressured to do otherwise so those are the things that I really felt in my heart to want to get out thank you and I say thank you a lot because I needed gratitude is so important because you put out topics that are so relevant to how we are going to make this world a better place especially through our education system although it's wonderful to teach kids science and languages and all kinds of stuff but how about the things that make us better human beings conversations open up the topics that

(1:10:11) are really impacting us and that's why I asked you to say what is in this book because it is very important that we do have those conversations as adults and with the young ones they're very intelligent the young ones are very intelligent and they're looking to understand but we're the ones like I said at the beginning if we're not making an impact you're failing we're failing so it is important that we make an impact thank you it is my dream because you just said something so important because

(1:10:48) yes science biology chemistry yes yes yes I'm not saying no right but I wish I knew what I know now that I'm offering in here and I wish my dream in my lifetime if I get to see it if not it's okay if it happens after that this becomes required reading that it's in the guidance counselor's office that it's in the libraries in our schools that teachers will be like you know what I don't have to do the heavy lifting with 30 40 kids in my room let's have them read this and talk about it so that

(1:11:30) maybe the bully will think twice before he bullies someone so that maybe if kid is feeling depressed or really sad he knows or she knows or they know that there's outlets and resources and people who care and will do anything in their power and when you talk to parents everything that's not even in their power parents will give to make it better when we can do this together it lightens the load on everybody thank you again I'm gonna keep saying thank you because for people to understand it's not only a book it's a life book

(1:12:28) it's a way of impacting the way that we're living in the way that we're seeing the world and the way that we're making an impact so thank you for taking the time and the energy to create this and obviously you can tell even your emotional now and you're not going through this so imagine the families that are that we can make a difference that we can make a difference take a deep breath and I have one more question for you I've never done jazz hands was that jazz hands I don't even know I say gen hands

(1:13:06) are great I felt like a jazz dance to me I've never I never took Jazz I don't know what they are I don't either okay you are an actor you have a wonderful platform you have your own channel of social media with your Fridays for the Younglings and all the wonderful things now you're standing on a stage in front of this entire world speaking to every human being what would you like to say to them what a cool visual you will use wow that just like put me on a stage in front of the world and and this doesn't feel

(1:14:04) like the wish and dream that so many of us have as little kids who want to change the world and I want to say honor that hmm get on your stage and change the world find your way whatever way that is you can build something you can create something you can give something you can share something but if every single one of you get on that stage and talk about the tide rising do you know the saying I don't know elbow tries yes that one that one that one oh that's nice if we're all on that stage and for your own way and reason

(1:15:09) it doesn't have to be my way your way the other person's way we're not gonna be Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos or but man we can all be on that stage doing it our way and that's what I would say and if you have to go through five careers ten cities um get there and you'll look back on the miles you drove from Miami to Florida to California and back around and you know the plane you took from Lebanon to Dominican Republic to go to Punta Cana like you'll look back on all those things and be like that was a fun

(1:15:56) Journey were there scary moments heck yeah but when you look back and you see what you've overcome those scarier moments just build you stronger so that's what I was saying well said get on the stage with me let's all get on the stage well said Jovana thank you for being with us today and for our listeners please remember our attitude determines our altitude in life for you to make an impact like Jovana said get on the stage of your own life thank you we'll catch you in the next episode